I caught my fish masturbating. what do I do.. I don't want to traumatize him.. please help?

Answers:
Well it is good that your little fish has started to identify with its sexuality. You need to sit down with your fish and have "The Talk" with it. I am pretty sure that you can download a power-point slide outline to assist you in this wonderful educational experience as your young fish is growing up in the world. If you cant find an outline you can always send off for one thru the Government Resource catalog cant remember the exact address but its the one with pueblo.gov in it. Any rate. You need to let your fish know that this is perfectly normal and all about growing up. You can relate to your fish that when you were younger you might have been caught (or not if you remembered to lock the door) or that you did (even if you deny this here everyone will know that you are lying) it when you were younger also. Give your fish all the love and nourishment that it needs to grow up to be a big and strong fish.

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Take some argactal, you may sleep some, but at least it might make you a little sane.

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Return the favor, let him watch you.

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get him a girl, what did you expect?!?!

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Form a circle jerk and you both can enjoy. One of you will have to be the pivot man though. I would suggest flipping a coin.

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do it with him you might like it

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ur sick

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Don't mention it. Fish don't always realize that people are watching them through the glass and get carried away. It is not worth discussing. By the way he watches you do it to and never mentions it. Right?

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let him do the dayum thang or buy him a female

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Help him, he needs you.

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get your fish a blow fish and let the party begin

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get him some fishy porn or a female fish or both.